I dunno... lack of inspiration?

Yea like the title said... My creative mind isn't like it use to be... every time i get a new idea I have to immediately write/draw it before it fades out of my head... Most of the cause of this is the recent events that happened in my life... Some just hurt and cause me to lose what I was thinking about... And thus... ruins my idea in my head... and makes me drop the idea and not wanting to continue it...

And also...

When I went to the park in KLCC I wasn't mainly there to sketch some artworks... I was also there to think... I even cried when I was there... So many things are falling apart and I'm not sure if I can hold it up anymore... My legs have gotten weaker... And I am slowly weakening... To those people who want to see me fall... I haven't fallen yet... I'm going to stand till the end... No matter the cost...

*sigh*

Lately things are becoming far too much for me to handle... Lots of things going wrong and lots of things are turning for the worst... I know I try my best to face them but sometimes I wonder if my best is good enough... Even I'm not sure... Not sure if my best is good enough...

I try to fly higher and ever atempt is a failiure... I lose controll when I start getting to high and I when I fall I may l0se the abillity to get up... I want to get up and try again but every time I try the more I lose the will to do it... And sometimes... I wonder if its worth it at the end of the day...

But I know what you might say... You would tell me never to give up... And keep on trying... Thats what I feel... And everytime you say those words I am always able to stand on my feet and try again...

To try and fail is not the route to failiure... But the only failiure is when you stop trying...

And yea better get back to class... breaks over...

What is it that people think...

*sigh* its just another one of those days... Don't you feel that sometimes things just never seemed to go well and suddenly it goes all the way down?... Well that is what I'm starting to feel no a days... And just one thing got me thinking as well... Was I once like that?... mean... arrogant... unsociable... keep to my self all the time... Sometimes I wonder... what would happen if... I stayed the same way as I was before... But sometimes I try not to picture it...

Also that was one of the things on my mind... I've recently also been having slight chest pains as well... *sigh* and to think that it was over... but its like a boomerang and came right back at me... But not to mention my temper... Although controllable... People tend to taunt me more and more... and sometimes no matter how much I try to ignore and make all those harsh words they say go away... I just starts getting worse and worse... *sigh*

Lately I never know what to do now a days... My life seemed to be going well... But suddenly it just turns and bites me in the rear... BAH... I have to try and stay strong... And I have to keep on trying no matter what... I know I will get through this and take in the pressure... but the question is... how long?

To my mum...

To my mum,

You were not home for mothers day so I had to delay the post a bit,

You are the sun that lights this family up with your radiant glow,
Your are the pillar of strength that holds this family up,
You are the wisdom which guides us through hard times,
And you are the one,
Who gave my sisters and me life,

And on behalf of my siblings,
I want to wish you,
A Happy Mother's Day =D

Poem:
You are the sun which gives us light,
You are the strength which gives us might,
With you we are able to experience flight,
You are our mother which gives us great delight.

With you it will always be Mother's Day

Life is starting to go down hill...

Lately things started to seem to go down hill from where I was now... Body had to bare through the hot weather and I kept sweating so much that even my bed was wets... My term is coming to an end and soon I'll be sitting for my first IT paper as a Level 2 Diploma paper... I'm actually happy with this semesters progression... I worked harder than I ever did in my past and now I cant wait to see the results of my performance this time...

But even a sunny day can be followed by a dark cloud... I remember that during one of the hot days... I think it was Tuesday... My whole body was dripping in sweat that as I was walking up my staircase and I tripped off my own sweat... I was knocked out for awhile but I'll be fine... I'm a big boy now... And also... me and the band wont be preforming for C2Age due to some problems... *sigh*... Not to mention my costume isn't done due to a lot of missing parts...

Due to these problems I cant seem to see the silver lining and lately its causing me a lot of stress... But I guess the good thing is that I finished all my assignments and even though for the Data Comm assignment I has to submit a day late but I believe the 1% lost wont matter much cause I know it was my best...

But I guess there was a silver lining so I guess that it wasn't all that bad... But yea the back of my head still hurts ><||

Its only natural...

People fight yes...
Some of which aren't intentional...
Some for disagreement...
And some...
For the sheer joy of making one's self feel better...

Fighting is natural...
People fight...
To prove that they are right...
To show dominance over the other...
To show that they are stronger...
Thus they fight to prove it...

But you know what?
At the end of it...
It becomes pointless...
Fighting never solves a problem...
It creates a much larger problem...
And it hurts...
All who you hold close to your heart...
Fighting is never the answer...
But some people never realize that...

My dear sister...
Now may be your most challenging part of your life...
A battle that one day will prove to be valuable for your future...
But remember this my sister...
Even though people fight...
That doesn't mean they don't love you...
And no matter what happens my dear sister...
I will always be here...
To support and guide you...
And no matter what...
I will always be here for you...

I promise...

The high road and the Low road

Everyday we travel the road of life, sometimes the road starts to climb up higher and higher. It reminds me of times when I started to grow, how most of the time I had to pick myself up, even though I had my family around me, I always felt so lonely and unnoticed, well its no wonder, we have a lot of well known family members so its easy to go unnoticed, but I felt alone for nearly 5 years of my life... and soon very early in my life I had to learn to grow up... even though I wasn't entirely good at what I did... Many mistakes made... Many punishments I had to endure... But all those were just mere stepping stones... And I had to learn quickly...

As you reach the top of the hill memories of past begins to haunt you of how small mistakes in life could have changed the outcome of the future. From that moment I realized if it wasn't for my younger sister, I would have just broken down and not know of what to do, and for everything she had done to me till now will always be kept in my heart. And soon came the memories of my school days, which reminded me how fortunate to have many friends who cared for me, and how much I had to endure to get through the day. But sometimes... Life in high school wasn't my best... I felt more alone than ever... and all it did was put more stress onto me and caused things to fall apart even more...

Soon came the day I started college, to be honest it was one of the best feelings I have had in a long time. It was a time to start a new life and leave the past behind me, at a time it was good... but slowly my past started to catch up with me and things went from good to bad in matter of days... But all was not lost, much later I made this wonderful friend and soon everything... the bad past and every pain I've felt through out my life just vanished like that. The feeling was good.

But changes in life starts to get more common everyday, things slowly begin to change and life starts catching up with you. But yet the some memories just hurt where others will stay with you forever in your heart. But though the road of life may keep climbing higher and higher and may seen unreachable, but there is always a peak to everything and the road will slowly start lowering and leading you to where your life will take you. Life is just like the road, it has a start and an end, and have a lot or rises, bumps, and downs every occasion so no matter what happens in life, no one will truly understand until in happens.