Raya...

Ok now that the first day of Raya is over, I thought I might talk about it and the difference of this year and my past Raya experience. First of, I want to thank everyone who wished me today and I also hope that all my muslim friends had a good first day of Raya.

Ok now I'll look at the differences of this year and the past years of Raya.

First of was that this year me and my dad prayed at the masjid near our house, it was small but in a way comfortable due that there weren't many people praying at the masjid. Usually me and my dad would go follow my grandfather to go pray at Masjid Negara, but due to his condition we couldn't go with him, that started a chain reaction of old memeories which made me think of where all those times went... and I felt like there was an empty space deep down inside me and wondering how these feelings came to be...

Second was that the order of the visiting was a bit different too, usually we would stay at my grandfathers house and wait for the other relatives to come after prayer, but now it was different because since we went to pray at the masjid near my house, we went to my other grandmothers (mum's side) house first, the order just felt a bit... different... or too different since I was so use to going to my other grandparents (dad's side) house first... just felt that it was a bit too different...

Third, was that it seemed like even though all my cousins, uncles and aunts were at one place, I just felt that everyone was so busy with other things and everyone kept more towards their families rather the comunicating with the each other... and I just felt... like it was very... quite...

Fourth, was after we had visited my our other relatives house we went straight back to my other grandmothers house (mum's side) and to our surprise... many of my aunty and uncles were already leaving... 4 car fulls of them... and once we fianlly got out of the car and joined the others at the open house, there was something very disturbing... the place was so quite that I could hear a pin drop and I would be able to hear it... *sigh* and there were many empty tables as well and empty seats... I use to remember when the place would be packed and the sound of people enjoying themselves could be heard... but all I heard was the sound of the caterer cooking the food and the sound of the Ice Cacang machine going on and off... and when I was there... even surrounded by my other family members... just felt very lonely...

so far my Raya today wasn't all that great from my point of view... there were just so many differences of the past years that really effected how I felt when this year came... And I wonder where all those good times went... and wondered where all those good times had gone...

here is a list of what I missed this year and will always stay in my memories:
1. Going to Masjid Negara with my grandfather when I was young and how tall and different I became everytime I went.
2. Smiling and bonding family members during open houses
3. Sound of laughter and a packed Raya open house at my grandmothers house
4. Seeing most of other relatives

but there were some good things that happend too... that i cannot forget...

My childhood friend david came to visit me from indonessia and my cousin from japan came home and visited me too and I was really happy to see them both... You two really made me happy and so did you Tawfik thanks for coming to visit me on Raya too... And you too my angle... for all those lovely smses you sent me... I'll tell you all what happend on the 2nd day... till then my friends... Jia Ne