Stress... Lonelyness... Anger...

Well this is my temporary blog until my new one is up, or if it cant be up I'll just continue to use this, whichever happens...

Been awhile since I last blogged, been too busy I guess... Lots has happened from when I last blogged and now... First off is that I started my new term in HELP University College a couple of weeks ago... My cousins and I formed a band which is called "3 Piece Painting" and we really enjoy what we do... My mum and dad aren't seeing eye to eye anymore after my mum found out that my dad was seeing another girl behind her back... Been very stressed with college work and all, I really want to do well this term and hopefully by the end of the year I'll be leaving to Osaka, Japan for furthering my studies... So yea... Lots has been happening...

Well... Today wasn't the start of a good day I guess... woke up with chest pain and heart burn... I smsed someone very special to me... and later my dad made me late for one of my gatherings with my old cosplay buddies (by 1hour and 30min to be exact) and he kept lecturing me on how I don't have enough responsibility around the house and that he feels I don't really study at all and just kept shooting me down... *sigh* I really hate those days... After that I just went up in my room and sat on my bed... I felt really cold... I felt so alone... and I felt so angry... I missed my mother... eventhough she scolds me sometimes, I feel she is one of the only person in my family that I can talk to... and I felt so lost without her... she guided me through a lot of harsh and painful lessons... and I keep on regretting on that I never told her how much I loved her... and after that I kept thinking about someone who is special to me... Its been awhile since we broke up now... but yet... I cant stop thinking about her... I really needed her today... I could just put my head on her shoulder and cry as long as could... I hear her say that it was going to be alright... and I wonder if she still thinks about me as I do of her... and I'm angry at my dad for cheating behind my mothers back... he really disrespected the name of our family... but I know I must not stay angry at him for long... because he still is my own flesh and blood...

So my day wasnt great at all... just really stressful... and I feel so alone... I wish you were here with me now... my angle... bring me away from all this pain... and lonelyness... and help me regain the abillity to smile once again... and remember all the times we were both together... and a time when me... you... and my family were happy together... as a family again...

But no matter what I must not forget my priorities... I have to do well... I have to make my mother proud me... make you proud of me... I know I can do it... I know I will succed... and I know that I will shape a future for me and for all those that I hold close to me...